Chamad: Guarding Desire
The Unique Nature of the Tenth Commandment
We’ve reached the final week of our journey through the Ten Commandments in our series, “Old Laws for a New Life.” Tonight, we come to the tenth commandment. Let’s read it together from Exodus 20:17 (ESV):
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
The Heart’s Desire
Throughout this series, we’ve seen how each commandment operates on both external and internal levels. Jesus showed us that the sixth commandment, “You shall not murder,” isn’t just about physical violence but about the anger that leads to it. The seventh commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” isn’t just about physical acts but about the lust the precedes them. The eighth commandment, “You shall not steal,” isn’t just about taking possessions, but about the greed that drives to take what isn’t ours. The ninth commandment, “You shall not bear false witness,” isn’t just about lying but about the deceptive heart that produces falsehood.
Now we come to the tenth commandment, and something remarkable happens. This commandment makes explicit what was implicit in all the others - that sin begins in the heart. It’s as if God is saying, “In case you missed it in the other nine commandments, I’ll make myself crystal clear: the problem isn’t just your actions; it’s your desires.” Think about it - this commandment doesn’t prohibit any specific action. You could technical covet everything your neighbor has without lifting a finger against any of their possessions. But God says even that internal coveting is sinful.
Why?
Because He knows that corrupted desires are the garden of all other sins.
Looking at the Hebrew
The Hebrew word used here is חָמַד (chamad), and it reveals something profound about the nature of desire. Unlike some Hebrew words that are inherently negative, chamad can actually describe holy desires. In Psalm 19:10, it describes the desirability of God's commands:
“More to be desired (הַנֶּחֱמָדִים, nechmadim) are they than gold,
even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.”
This tells us something really important: desire itself isn’t the problem. God created us to desire. He gave us the capacity to want, to long for, to yearn after things. The question isn’t whether we will desire, but what we will desire and how we will desire it.
Let me give you an example to help illustrate this. Imagine a young couple looking at houses. They see a beautiful home and think, “We’d love to have a house like that someday.” Is that coveting? Not necessarily. Wanting (or desiring) to provide a good home for your family isn’t wrong. But what if that desire turns into resentment toward those who have nicer homes? What if it leads to discontentment with what God has provided? What if it drive you to make unwise financial decisions to “keep up with the Joneses”? Now we’re in coveting territory. Or what someone who sees a couple’s strong marriage and thinks, “I want a relationship like that.” Again, great! That’s a good thing! I want a strong relationship as well. But what if that admiration turns into envying that specific person’s spouse? What if it leads to thoughts of ways that you could break up that marriage? What if it causes you to despise your own spouse? Welcome to coveting.
The Language of Desire
The fact that this commandment is repeated - “you shall not covet… you shall not covet” - emphasizes its importance. The repetition creates a rhythm in Hebrew that hammers home the point. And notice the comprehensive list that follows: house, wife, servants, animals, and just to make sure that nothing is left out, “anything that is your neighbor’s.”
Quite the comprehensive list, wouldn’t you say?
This list tells us something important: coveting isn’t just about material possessions, but rather, it can attach itself to anything: relationships, positions, abilities, opportunities, recognition. Anything your neighbor has can become an object of covetous desire. But there’s something else fascinating about this commandment’s placement in the list of commandments. It comes last in the list, serving as a kind of capstone to all the others. And when you think about it, coveting often lies at the root of breaking the other commandments:
Why do people steal? Often because they covet what others have.
Why do people commit adultery? Often because they covet someone else’s spouse.
Why do people bear false witness? Often because they covet someone else’s reputation or position.
Why do people murder? Often because they covet what belongs to others.
This is why Richard Averbeck notes that this commandment functions as a summary commandment - violating it is often a first step that can lead to violating any or all of the others. It addresses the root from which so many other sins grow.
The Heart of the Matter
Jesus, as He does with all the commandments, takes us even deeper into understanding coveting. In Luke 12:15, He says:
“And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.””
Notice what Jesus does here - He connects coveting with a fundamental misunderstanding about life. When we covet, we’re buying into the lie that life consists in what we possess. We’re believing that if we just had what someone else has - their house, their job, their spouse, their talents, their looks, their reputation - then we’d be satisfied. And this is why Jesus follows this warning with the Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:16-21). Remember the story? A man’s fields produce abundantly, and instead of seeing this as an opportunity for generosity, he decides to build bigger barns to store it all for himself. He tells himself:
“And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ ”
The rich man’s problem wasn’t his wealth - it was his covetous heart that could never be satisfied, that always wanted more, that found its security in possessions rather than in God. And this reveals something about coveting: it’s not just about wanting what others have; it’s about not trusting what God has provided.
Think about the context in which the Ten Commandments were given. The Israelites had just been delivered from Egypt. They had seen God’s mighty power in the plagues, in the parting of the Red Sea, in the provision of manna and quail. They had experienced His faithful care firsthand. Yet even with all this evidence of God’s provision, they struggled with coveting. They looked at other nations and they wanted what they had - their gods, their food, their form of government. And this teaches us something about human nature: we can experience God’s miraculous provision firsthand and still struggle with wanting what He hasn’t given us. The very people who walked through the Red Sea on dry ground would soon be complaining about the food that God provided?
What?! Instead, we read in Numbers 11:5 what they longed for:
“We remember the fish we ate in Egypt that cost nothing, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.”
God’s chosen people would look at pagan nations and say:
“They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.””
Despite having the living God as their king, they coveted the political systems of those who worshipped idols. And if we’re really honest with ourselves, we’re not so different. We, too, can experience God’s faithful provision, see His work in our lives, and still find our hearts longing for what He hasn’t given us. So how does this play out in our lives today?
Modern Forms of Coveting
There are 5 different ways that I’ve come up with on how this affects us today. This list may not be exhaustive, but I think it covers quite a bit of how coveting impacts us.
1. Material Coveting
First, there’s material coveting, and this goes far deeper than just wanting nice things. It’s that constant dissatisfaction with what we have, that nagging feeling that we’d be happier if we just had a little more. It shows up in the way we can’t seem to be content with our current phone when a new model comes out. It’s present in how we walk through our house after visiting a friend’s house and start noticing and dwelling on all the upgrades we “need” rather than thanking God that we have a house to live in. It’s that restless desire that makes us browse real estate listings even when we have no intention on moving, or scrolling through car websites dreaming about cars when our current vehicle serves us perfectly well. This kind of coveting isn't just about the things themselves - it's about believing that somehow, these possessions will make us more complete, more satisfied, more fulfilled.
2. Relational Coveting
Then, there’s relational coveting. This might just be the most painful form of all. It’s not about wanting what others have - which is still coveting, by the way - but it’s about wanting who others have. It’s the married person who thinks, “If only I had a spouse like they do,” while failing to invest in their own marriage. It’s the single person who looks at every happy couple with a mixture of longing and resentment. It’s the parent who sees another family’s seemingly well-behaved children and covets not just their behavior but the entire family dynamic. It’s the person who watches others’ friendships from the outside and wishes they could somehow insert themselves into those friendships. This kind of coveting is particularly destructive because it poisons the relationships we do have while idealizing relationships we don’t.
3. Professional Coveting
Third, professional coveting. No, this doesn’t mean that you’re now just a pro at coveting. Professional coveting has become increasingly prevalent in our achievement-oriented culture. It's that knot in your stomach when you see a colleague get the promotion you wanted. It's the way you can't quite bring yourself to celebrate someone else's success because you're too busy wondering why it wasn't you. It's how we minimize others' achievements by saying things like, "Well, they just got lucky" or "They just knew the right people." It's the way we sometimes find ourselves hoping others will fail just so we can feel better about our own position. This form of coveting is especially dangerous because we often disguise it as "ambition" or "drive," failing to recognize how it's corrupting our character and damaging our professional relationships.
4. Digital Coveting
The rise of social media has given birth to what we might call digital coveting, and it's possibly the most insidious form yet. Every time we open our phones, we're bombarded with carefully curated versions of others' lives. We see the vacation photos (but not the credit card debt that paid for them). We see the happy family portraits (but not the arguments that happened five minutes before). We see the job announcements (but not the years of rejection and struggle that preceded them). We see the new house (but not the sleepless nights worrying about the mortgage). And with each scroll, with each swipe, we're tempted to covet not just individual things but entire lifestyles that don't actually exist. We're coveting highlight reels while living in the messy reality of daily life.
5. Spiritual Coveting
Perhaps most subtle of all is spiritual coveting, which often masquerades as godly desire. It's present when we see someone pray eloquently and, instead of being blessed by their gift, we wish we could pray like that. It's there when we hear someone teach effectively and, rather than thanking God for how He's gifted them, we envy their platform. It's active when we see someone serving faithfully in a ministry and, instead of celebrating their contribution to the body of Christ, we wish we had their influence. This form of coveting is particularly deceptive because we can convince ourselves that since we're desiring "spiritual" things, our coveting must be okay. But when our desire for spiritual gifts or opportunities leads us to resent how God has gifted others or how He's chosen to use us, we've crossed the line into coveting.
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The Cost of Coveting
Paul gives us a sobering warning in 1 Timothy 6:6-10:
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”
Notice the progression here. Coveting doesn’t just make us unhappy - it becomes a trap, a snare, like quicksand that slowly pulls us under. The deeper we sink into discontentment the more restlessness we have in our souls that distance us from the peace of God. We become like the rich fool, constantly building bigger barns, always wanting more, never satisfied with what we have. And in that endless pursuit of more, we often “wander away from the faith” and pierce ourselves “with many pangs.” But look, also, at the contrast that Paul presents, saying: “godliness with contentment is great gain.” When we learn to be content with what God has provided, when we trust His wisdom in what he’s given us (and what He hasn’t given us), we find something far more valuable than any possession we might covet - we find peace. We find joy. We find rest in God’s provision.
This is particularly crucial to understand in our modern consumer culture. We’re bombarded daily with messages telling us we need more, that we deserve more, that we should have more. I’ve spent part of my career in advertising - and one of the strategies is to create discontent. To make people unhappy with what they have so that they’ll buy what’s being sold. And then pile social media on top of it, and it amplifies it by constantly showing us what others have that we don’t. And the result is a society marked by chronic discontentment, always chasing the next, better, newer thing, and in the process not finding satisfaction.
When we look back at ancient Israel, we see why this command was so crucial for community stability. Coveting wasn’t just an individual sin, it was (like these other commandments) a threat to the entire social fabric. When people couldn’t be content with their own portion, when they constantly desired what belonged to others, it led to:
A breakdown of trust between neighbors [verse needed]
Erosion of community bonds [verse needed]
Rise of disputes and conflicts [verse needed]
Eventual violence and theft [verse needed]
This is why the prohibition against coveting served as a safeguard for community harmony. By addressing the root of many outward sins - the inner desire for what belongs to others - God was protecting His people from the destructive spiral that unchecked coveting creates.
The Connection to the Character of God
When we really think about it, coveting is a theological issue at its core. It reveals what we believe about God. Every single solitary time that we covet, we’re actually making statements about who we think God is and how we think He deals with us.
Think about it. When we covet, what are we saying?
God, what you’ve given me isn’t good enough.
God, I can’t trust that you know what’s best for me.
God, your plan for my life isn’t as good as what I see for others.
God, your promises to care for me and provide for me aren’t good enough.
This is why Paul, in Philippians 4:11-13, makes such a remarkable statement:
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Notice, Paul says that he “learned” to be content. Contentment isn’t natural; it’s learned. And where did Paul learn it? In the school of trusting God’s character. In prison and in freedom. In abundance and in need. Paul learned that God’s character doesn’t change even when our circumstances do. And Jesus addressed this exact concept in the Sermon on the Mount. After telling people not to be anxious about their needs, He says:
“For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Now, notice the title Jesus uses - “your heavenly Father.” He’s reminding us that God isn’t just some far off, unknowable God who parcels out blessings at random. He’s our Father who knows exactly what we need and when we need it. When we covet, it’s as if we’re forgetting Jesus’ words here about God’s character. Let’s continue a little more into the New Testament into 2 Corinthians 8:9, where God’s character is revealed in Jesus’ own life and ministry:
“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.”
This is the ultimate answer to coveting - not just that we should be content with what we have, but that in Christ, we already possess the greatest riches imaginable. Christ voluntarily gave up heaven's riches to give us what we could never earn or deserve. How can we covet lesser things when we've been given such an inheritance?
Ethical Challenges: Dealing with Desire
Now we come to the practical challenge: how do we deal with desire in a culture that's literally built on making us want more? We live in a world where entire industries exist to create and intensify coveting. Marketing experts spend billions of dollars studying how to make us dissatisfied with what we have. Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling, comparing, wanting. Our economy itself runs on consumption - on the constant desire for more. This isn't new, by the way. The serpent's first temptation in the Garden wasn't just about fruit - it was about creating discontent. "Did God actually say...?" (Genesis 3:1). The suggestion was clear: God is withholding something good from you. You deserve more. You should have what He's keeping from you.
But here's where it gets really challenging. How do we distinguish between legitimate desires and covetousness? After all, is it wrong to want a better job? Is it sinful to hope for marriage? Is it covetous to work toward a promotion? These are the questions we wrestle with daily.
Let me suggest some key differences between holy desire and covetousness:
Holy desire operates within God's boundaries. Coveting ignores those boundaries.
Holy desire can celebrate others' blessings. Coveting resents them.
Holy desire trusts God's timing. Coveting demands immediate gratification.
Holy desire submits to God's wisdom. Coveting insists on our way.
Holy desire leads to gratitude. Coveting leads to resentment.
Paul models this for us in Philippians 4:11-12:
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."
Notice that Paul experienced both abundance and need. The issue wasn't having or not having - it was his heart's response to either situation. This is crucial for us to understand. Contentment isn't about never wanting anything to change. It's about trusting God with both what we have and what we don't have. Think about Joseph in the Old Testament. When he was sold into slavery, he didn't just resign himself to his fate - he worked excellently in Potiphar's house. When he was falsely imprisoned, he didn't just accept his circumstances - he served faithfully in the prison. But in neither situation did he covet what others had. He worked within God's boundaries while trusting God's timing. Or consider Jesus's words in Matthew 6:31-33:
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Jesus isn't saying we should never think about food, drink, or clothing. He's teaching us about priorities - about where our primary desires should be focused.
Cultivating a Grateful Heart
So how do we actually fight against coveting and cultivate contentment? Because me sitting here for an hour telling you "don't covet" at the end of the day probably won’t do anything with practical steps and real strategies for guarding our hearts in a world designed to make us discontent. And let me be clear - this isn't about positive thinking or self-help techniques. This is about a fundamental reorientation of our hearts toward God and His provision.
Recognizing Gratitude
The first and most powerful antidote to coveting is gratitude. It's almost impossible to be grateful and covetous at the same time. Think about it - when you're actively thanking God for what He's given you, it's much harder to resent what He's given others. When you're counting your blessings, you're less likely to be counting what others have that you don't. Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18:
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Notice he doesn't say "give thanks for all circumstances" but "in all circumstances." There's a crucial difference there. We might not be thankful for a difficult situation, but we can still find things to be thankful for within that situation. And this isn't about denying reality or pretending everything is fine when it isn't. It's about training our eyes to see God's presence and provision even in challenging times. So how do you do that? Well first, you’re reading the verse: think about Paul writing these words while in prison. He wasn't thankful for his imprisonment. I’m sure he’d rather not be in prison, but he found reasons to be thankful in his imprisonment - for the spread of the gospel to his guards, for the concern of the churches, for the opportunity to write letters that would guide believers for generations to come.
Here's what this might look like practically in our lives:
Instead of scrolling through social media comparing your life to others, try making a list of specific blessings God has given you. And I mean specific - not just "food and shelter" but "the taste of coffee in the morning" or "the sound of my child's laughter."
Instead of focusing on what your spouse isn't, thank God for the specific qualities they do have. Instead of wishing they were more like someone else's spouse, intentionally notice and appreciate their unique strengths and gifts.
Instead of resenting someone else's success, thank God for how their gifts benefit the body of Christ. This is particularly powerful because it transforms our perspective from personal lack to kingdom abundance.
Instead of wishing you had a different job, thank God for how your current position provides for your needs and gives you opportunities to represent Him in your workplace.
Expressing Gratitude
But - and this is crucial - gratitude isn't just about feeling thankful. It must be expressed. The Psalmist says in Psalm 9:1:
"I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds."
This "recounting" is vital. When we verbalize our gratitude, when we specifically name our blessings, it reinforces our awareness of God's provision. This is why the Old Testament is full of commands to actively recall and recount God's faithfulness. The Israelites built altars, celebrated feasts, and told stories - all to remember God's provision and cultivate gratitude. And I’ll be the first to say it: we need similar practices today.
Some might keep a gratitude journal.
Others might share a blessing at dinner each night.
Some might start their prayers with extended thanksgiving before moving to requests.
The specific method isn't as important as the intentional practice of naming and celebrating God's gifts.
Guard Against Comparison
Another practical step is to guard against unhealthy comparison. Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and he was right. Why? Because Paul already said it in 2 Corinthians 10:12:
"Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding."
This means being intentional about our media consumption, our conversations, even our thought patterns. When you find yourself falling into comparison traps, stop and redirect your thoughts to God's specific provision in your life.
Turn Comparison into Celebration
But let me push this even further - what if we transformed our comparison into celebration? What if, instead of coveting others' blessings, we saw them as evidence of God's generosity? What if every time we noticed something good in someone else's life, instead of wanting it for ourselves, we thanked God for His kindness to them? Our world runs on comparison and competition - or by our definition now, our world runs on “stealing joy.” But God's economy is different. In His kingdom, another person's blessing doesn't diminish ours.
Their gain isn't our loss.
Understanding this can transform how we view others' success, relationships, talents, and possessions.
Living Out the Tenth Commandment
So how do we take all of this - our understanding of coveting, God's character, the power of gratitude - and live it out in our daily lives? Because that's where the rubber meets the road, isn't it? It's not enough to understand these principles; we have to apply them in the mundane moments of everyday life. First, we need a fundamental mindset shift. Instead of focusing on scarcity - what we lack, what we wish we had, what others have that we don't - we need to embrace the abundance of God's grace. Paul puts it this way in 2 Corinthians 9:8:
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."
Notice the repetition: "all grace," "all sufficiency," "all things," "all times." God's provision isn't stingy or barely enough - it's abundant. When we really grasp this, it changes how we view everything. We stop seeing life as a zero-sum game where someone else's blessing means less for us. But let me be clear - this isn't about passive acceptance or complacency. Contentment doesn't mean never wanting to grow or improve. Remember what Paul says in Philippians 4:12-13:
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Paul wasn't passive. He worked hard, pursued his calling vigorously, even competed well (he talks about running the race to win). But he did it all from a foundation of contentment in Christ, not from a place of coveting or comparison. This plays out practically in several ways:
In our work, it means pursuing excellence without being consumed by ambition. We can work hard and seek advancement, but our identity and worth aren't tied to our professional success. We can celebrate others' promotions without feeling diminished by them.
In our relationships, it means loving the people God has put in our lives rather than wishing we had different ones. It means investing in our current relationships instead of always looking for "better" ones. It means celebrating others' relationships without coveting them.
In our possessions, it means being good stewards of what God has given us rather than always craving more. It means maintaining and using what we have with gratitude instead of constantly upgrading to the next thing. It means enjoying others' blessings without feeling entitled to them.
In our spiritual lives, it means faithfully using our own gifts rather than coveting others' gifts. It means serving where God has placed us rather than always wanting a different or more visible ministry. It means rejoicing when others are used powerfully by God instead of wishing it was us.
Jesus said in Matthew 22:39, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." This is actually the antidote to coveting. When we truly love our neighbors, we'll rejoice in their blessings rather than coveting them. We'll want good things for them as much as we want them for ourselves.
From the Inside Out
As we wrap up our journey through the Ten Commandments, we see that the tenth commandment serves as a powerful conclusion that ties together all the others. While each commandment has challenged our behavior, the tenth commandment goes straight to the root—the desires of the heart. This final commandment brings us full circle, reminding us that every act of disobedience begins internally before it is ever expressed outwardly. It serves as a mirror, reflecting the motivations and intentions that lead to the breaking of the other commandments.
What do we see?
The first commandment calls us to worship God alone, but we don’t—we place other things on His throne. And by doing that, what do we do? We make idols of our desires, shaping God into what and who we want Him to be. This isn’t honoring of Him, whatsoever. It dishonors His name by how we live and fail to trust His provision, refusing the rest only He offers. We rebel against authority, harbor anger, and wound others, even if only in our hearts. We betray faithfulness, take what isn’t ours, and twist the truth for personal gain. And at the root of it all, is because we covet, desiring what God hasn’t given and doubting His wisdom and goodness.
And as we look into that mirror, one thing becomes abundantly clear: our inability to perfectly keep the Ten Commandments shows us our need for a Savior. The commandments reveal God's holy standard—a standard we all fall short of. They show us what a righteous life looks like: where we fall short, Jesus is perfect. He worshiped the Father alone, revealed Him fully, and carried His name in perfect honor. He is our Sabbath rest, submitting to the Father’s will and honoring all relationships with love. He bore the weight of our sin—our anger, lust, theft, and lies—and fulfilled the law completely. Jesus transforms our hearts, teaching us to desire God above all and empowering us to live in a way that reflects His holiness. In Him, we find forgiveness, fulfillment, and the hope of a life aligned with God’s perfect will. but also make it evident that, in our own strength, we cannot achieve it. The tenth commandment, perhaps more than any other, exposes the depth of our sinfulness because it deals directly with the heart—something we can never fully purify on our own. So my prayer for you reading this - is to let these “old laws” guide you to a new life of grace, as you trust Him to make us into the person you were created to be.