Na'aph: Faithful Love
Introduction
We’re continuing our journey through the Ten Commandments in our series, “Old Laws for a New Life.” We’ve explored six commandments so far, discovering how they speak powerfully still to our modern lives. Today, we come to the seventh commandment. Let’s read it together from Exodus 20:14:
“You shall not commit adultery.”
The “Wicked Bible” or also known as The “Sinner’s Bible”
There’s a pretty fascinating historical story that does a wonderful job illustrating how significant even a single word can be when it comes to this particular commandment. Back in 1631, there was a printing of the King James Bible that became known as “the wicked Bible.”
Why?
Because through what was presumably a printer’s error, the word “not” was omitted from this commandment, making it read, “Thou shalt commit adultery.” Now, if we had bibles being printed with that error today, who knows - I bet it would be flying off of the bookshelves.
But let’s think of something for just a moment. Picture a wedding with me. The couple is standing before their friends, their family, and most importantly, before God. They make solemn vows - promises of lifelong faithfulness, love, and devotion. In that moment, those promises seem unbreakable. Yet as of 2024, statistics tell us that a staggering number of marriages end in divorce:
41% of all first marriage end in divorce.
60% of all second marriages end in divorce.
73% of all third marriages end in divorce.
I’ll hit you with some more stats.
Every 42 seconds there is one divorce in America, equating to about 86 divorces per hour.
That’s 2,046 divorces per day
That’s 14,364 divorces per week
That’s 746,971 divorces per year
That means that there are nearly 3 divorces in the time that it usually takes couples to recite their wedding vows (roughly 2 minutes). All these numbers also contribute to other familial factors. Among all Americans that are 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split (meaning their parents or themselves).
Out of all of these divorces, here are the top three reported reasons given:
Lack of commitment: 73%
Constant arguing: 56%
Infidelity 55%
So more often than not, infidelity, lack of commitment, and constant arguing are contributing factors.
My question is this: what happens between that moment of pure commitment and the choice to break those vows? How does someone move from “till death do us part” to “parting” from the person they promised to love and cherish? This is what makes this commandment so crucial for us to understand today. Because while our culture might treat faithfulness as optional, God’s standard hasn’t changed.
At first glance, this might even seem like one of the simpler commandments to keep (I know, I said that with commandment 6 as well). After all, I haven’t woken up some morning just seeking out ways to commit adultery. Nor will I. So why even focus on this commandment then? Well, as we’ve seen all throughout this series, these commandments always cut deeper than their surface meaning.
So our big idea today is this: Faithfulness in marriage ensures the wholeness of the family.
But this commandment, as we’ll see, also speaks to more than just married couples. It speaks to all of us about the nature of covenant relationships, faithfulness, and what it means to truly love as God loves.
Definition of Adultery
Let's start by understanding what this commandment meant in its original context. The Hebrew word used here is נָאַף (na'aph), which specifically refers to sexual relations with someone other than your spouse. This word appears 34 times in the Old Testament, and in every instance, it carries a weight of moral and spiritual gravity that goes far beyond just the physical act. It's about breaching a covenant, violating sacred trust. What's fascinating is how this word is used throughout Scripture. In Jeremiah 23:14, we see it used to describe spiritual leaders who "commit adultery and walk in lies." In Ezekiel 23:37, it's used both literally and figuratively, describing physical adultery alongside spiritual adultery with idols. The word choice itself tells us something crucial - this isn't just about sex. It's about faithfulness, truth, and covenant loyalty.
In ancient Israel, adultery was considered one of the most serious offenses possible. In fact, under Mosaic Law, it was a capital offense:
“If a man commits adultery (נָאַף - na’aph) with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.”
Now, before we react to that severity with modern sensibilities, we need to understand something crucial about how this law functioned in Israelite society.
This wasn't just about personal morality. The stability of the entire community depended on the stability of families, and adultery struck at the heart of the family unit. As John Durham notes in his commentary on Exodus, this commandment was essential for "maintaining the integrity of the covenant community." Durham points out that the prohibition against adultery appears in virtually every ancient Near Eastern law code, but in Israel, it took on special significance because of their covenant relationship with God.
The severity with which adultery was viewed in ancient Israel might seem harsh to our modern sensibilities. In fact, I'd argue that if we could boil society down into a person - they would absolutely believe that it was too harsh. But when we understand what was at stake, it starts to make more sense:
Family Stability: The family was the basic unit of society, the primary place where faith was taught and values were transmitted. When adultery invaded a family, it didn't just hurt the married couple - it threatened the spiritual formation of the next generation.
Community Integrity: In Deuteronomy 4:6-8, Moses tells Israel that their laws would show their wisdom to surrounding nations. The sanctity of marriage was meant to be a testimony to God's character and His design for human flourishing.
Covenant Faithfulness: Marriage wasn't just a human arrangement but a divine institution that pictured God's relationship with His people. When Malachi condemns divorce in Malachi 2:13-16, he connects it directly to covenant faithfulness.
Generational Legacy: The promise God made to Abraham involved blessing all nations through his offspring (Genesis 12:3). This made the integrity of family lines vitally important.
John Walton, in his IVP Bible Background Commentary, points out that in ancient Israel, the law primarily sought to protect paternity, ensuring that a man's lineage was preserved without question. This was certainly part of the concern - in a culture where inheritance and tribal identity were crucial, knowing who belonged to which family mattered immensely.
But the biblical understanding goes far deeper than just protecting inheritance rights. Look at how the law treats adultery compared to other sexual sins:
Leviticus 18:20 places adultery in the context of ritual purity and holiness, saying:
“And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbor’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her.”
Proverbs 6:32-33 connects it to wisdom and understanding
“He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself.
He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away.”
Job 31:9-12 describes it as a "heinous crime" that "burns to destruction"
“If my heart has been enticed toward a woman,
and I have lain in wait at my neighbor’s door,
then let my wife grind for another,
and let others bow down on her.
For that would be a heinous crime;
that would be an iniquity to be punished by the judges;
for that would be a fire that consumes as far as Abaddon,
and it would burn to the root all my increase.”
These passages show us that adultery wasn't just about violating a human relationship - it was about violating the created order itself. Think about this: When God created everything in Genesis 1, He established patterns and boundaries. He separated light from darkness, land from sea, day from night. Each thing had its proper place, its proper function in creation. And then, as the crown of His creation, He made humans in His image and established marriage.
When God established marriage in Genesis 2:24 ("Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"), He wasn't just setting up a social institution. He was establishing a pattern that reflected His own character and His relationship with His people. Let's break this down:
The Timing Matters: This establishment of marriage comes before the Fall, before sin entered the world. This tells us something crucial - marriage isn't a concession to human weakness or just a practical arrangement for society. It's part of God's perfect design for human flourishing.
The Language is Significant:
"Leave" (יַעֲזָב, yazav) implies a decisive action
"Hold fast" (דָּבַק, davaq) is the same word used to describe how we should cling to God (Deuteronomy 10:20)
"One flesh" (בָשָׂר אֶחָד, basar echad) suggests a unity that goes beyond just physical union
The Pattern is Purposeful: The one-flesh union of marriage creates something new and sacred. Just as God is one yet exists in perfect relationship within the Trinity, marriage reflects unity in relationship. This is why Paul can say in Ephesians 5:31-32:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
This means that when someone commits adultery, they're not just breaking trust with their spouse. They're:
Fracturing an image of divine love
Distorting a picture of Christ's relationship with the church
Violating a fundamental pattern of creation
Breaking a covenant that was meant to reflect God's covenant faithfulness
Think about how this plays out in Scripture. When God wanted to show His people how grieved He was by their idolatry, what image did He use? Marriage and adultery. The prophet Hosea provides perhaps the most poignant illustration of this connection. God commanded Hosea to marry Gomer, a woman would prove unfaithful, as a living picture of Israel’s relationship with God. Hosea’s persistent love for his unfaithful wife demonstrated God’s faithful love for His unfaithful people. This story shows us that adultery isn’t about violating a moral code - it’s about breaking trust, shattering sacred bonds, and spurning faithful love. Through the prophet Hosea, God says:
“And the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods...’”
The power of this metaphor comes from the fact that marriage was designed from the beginning to show us something about God's character and His relationship with His people. When we understand this, we begin to see why adultery is treated with such severity in Scripture. It's not just about breaking rules - it's about breaking something that was meant to be a living picture of divine love.
This is why the prophets could use adultery as a metaphor for idolatry. The connection wasn't arbitrary - both involved breaking covenant with the one to whom you had pledged exclusive faithfulness. Both involved taking what was meant to be sacred and treating it as common. The prophets repeatedly use the language of adultery to describe Israel’s problem with idolatry. Look at how Jeremiah puts it:
“How can I pardon you? Your children have forsaken me and have sworn by those who are no gods. When I fed them to the full, they committed adultery and trooped to the houses of whores.”
This connection between physical adultery and spiritual unfaithfulness isn’t accidental. It reveals something profound about the nature of covenant relationships, whether between husband and wife or between God and His people. Both are meant to be exclusive, faithful, and enduring. In Exodus 34:15-16, God warns Israel about making covenants with the inhabitants of the land, using the language of adultery to describe spiritual unfaithfulness. The Hebrew word here for "play the harlot" (זָנָה, zanah) is often paired with na'aph, showing the close connection between sexual and spiritual faithfulness.
New Testament: Jesus on Adultery
As with the other commandments we've studied, Jesus takes this command and expands our understanding of it. In Matthew 5:27-28, He says:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
The Greek word used here for "lustful intent" is ἐπιθυμῆσαι (epithymēsai), which means to set one's heart upon, to long for, to covet. Jesus is getting to the heart of the matter - literally. He's saying that adultery doesn't begin with a physical act; it begins with a wandering heart, with misplaced desires. And this is crucial because Jesus shifted the focus from what we’ve been talking about - from external actions to internal attitudes. Just as He emphasized that anger is akin to murder (Matthew 5:21-22), here, He highlights that lust is akin to adultery. The issue isn’t simply refraining from the physical act of adultery, but guarding our hearts against even entertaining lustful thoughts. And we’ll talk about this more in our last week together, but this interpretation connects pretty directly with the Sixth and Tenth Commandments: “You shall not murder” (Exodus 20:13) and “You shall not covet” (Exodus 20:17). See, lust, like coveting, originates in the heart and can grow into sinful actions if left unchecked. The point here is that Jesus is showing pretty blatantly here that sin starts with desire, not just with actions. This echoes Proverbs 4:23:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
The heart is where sin takes root. As John Miller rightly observes, "It doesn't happen overnight; you don't just wake up one morning and say, 'I'm going to commit adultery today.' It starts in your heart." This makes sense why Jesus addressed the heart issue so directly. He wants His followers to recognize that sin often grows in subtle ways, from unchecked thoughts and desires into destructive, sinful, actions.
The progression often follows a pattern we see in James 1:14-15:
“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”
James describes how unchecked desire leads to sin, and sin eventually results in death—whether relational, emotional, or spiritual. Jesus, in addressing the issue of lust, is urging us to take control of our desires before they lead to destructive actions. This brings us to the wonderful challenge to evaluate not only our actions but also our thoughts. It calls for vigilance in what we allow into our minds, including the media we consume, the conversations we engage in, and the relationships we nurture. Jesus sets a high standard for purity of heart. In a culture where lust is often normalized, we must be intentional about fleeing from temptation, as Paul instructs in 2 Timothy 2:22:
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”
Additionally, this teaching encourages us to seek accountability. Sharing our struggles with trusted friends or mentors can help guard against the gradual slide into sin. Just as sin can grow in the dark, accountability brings our thoughts and actions into the light, where healing and growth can happen (James 5:16).
The Covenant of Marriage
To fully understand this commandment, we need to understand the biblical concept of covenant, particularly as it relates to marriage. Marriage isn't just a social contract or a legal arrangement. It's a covenant relationship, established by God and reflecting His relationship with His people.
I mentioned it briefly earlier, but in Ephesians 5:31-32, Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 about marriage and then makes a remarkable statement:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
Paul is saying that marriage is meant to be a living picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church. Just as Christ is faithfully committed to His bride, the Church, husbands and wives are called to be faithfully committed to each other. This adds immense weight to the marital covenant. Marriage reflects something much larger than the individuals involved—it points to the relationship between Christ and His people, a relationship marked by sacrificial love, grace, and unbreakable commitment.
The concept of covenant in Scripture, particularly the Hebrew word בְּרִית (berith), emphasizes a binding agreement, often sealed with blood. We first see this solemnity in Genesis 15, when God made a covenant with Abraham, an act that involved the shedding of blood as a sign of commitment. In the same way, marriage, viewed through the lens of covenant, becomes more than a simple legal contract; it is a sacred bond that requires deep faithfulness and sacrifice. While a contract serves to protect individual interests and can be broken when one party fails to uphold their part, a covenant endures even through hardship and failure. This fundamental difference transforms how we understand faithfulness in marriage.
In the Old Testament, God’s relationship with Israel is framed repeatedly in covenantal terms. Malachi 2:14 is particularly striking, where the prophet rebukes the people for being unfaithful to their wives, reminding them that their marriages are covenants witnessed by God: “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” Just as God’s covenant with Israel was meant to be an unbreakable bond, so too is marriage intended to be a permanent, binding relationship. This comparison between divine and human covenants highlights the seriousness of adultery.
Adultery, then, is not just a violation of a personal promise; it is a breach of a divine covenant. It shatters a relationship meant to mirror God’s unwavering faithfulness to His people. This is powerfully illustrated in the life of the prophet Hosea. Despite Gomer’s unfaithfulness, Hosea’s persistent love for her serves as a picture of God’s love for Israel, who had repeatedly broken their covenant with Him through idolatry. Hosea’s painful yet redemptive marriage reveals that adultery is not just a moral failing but a spiritual rupture—one that distorts the reflection of God’s faithfulness in marriage.
Theologically, this covenantal view of marriage shifts our understanding of faithfulness from simply following a moral code to reflecting the very character of God. Deuteronomy 7:9 describes God as "the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love." Just as God’s love for His people is steadfast and unbreakable, so too should the love between a husband and wife reflect that same enduring commitment. This is why adultery is so devastating: it distorts the image of divine love that marriage was created to display. When faithfulness is broken, the sacred reflection of God’s unwavering love is marred.
Practically, seeing marriage as a covenant challenges us to deeply invest in our relationships. It reminds us that marriage is not about mutual benefit but mutual self-giving. When difficulties arise, the covenantal framework encourages couples to respond with grace and perseverance, reflecting God’s patient, forgiving love. This understanding also calls the broader church community to step in and support marriages through resources, counseling, and prayer. Churches must foster environments where marriages are nurtured, helping couples honor their covenant vows and, by extension, reflect the covenantal love of God to the world.
The Consequences of Adultery
The consequences of violating the commandment against adultery are far-reaching and deeply impactful. Proverbs 6:32 offers a blunt assessment:
“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.”
So that’s reason enough, right? Well, this destruction isn’t confined to the individual committing the sin; it extends outward, affecting marriages, families, communities, and most importantly, one's relationship with God.
First, adultery brings spiritual devastation. Like all sin, it disrupts our fellowship with God, but adultery uniquely harms the soul because it involves the deepest form of intimacy. 1 Corinthians 6:18 warns believers to "flee from sexual immorality," explaining that sexual sin is different because it’s a sin against one's own body. This act shatters the unity God designed for marriage and severs the relationship between the sinner and God. David’s confession in Psalm 51:4 after his sin with Bathsheba captures this truth: “Against you, you only, have I sinned.” He recognizes that his sin, though it caused pain to many, was primarily an offense against God. We learned this in another way in discussing the sixth commandment, in that all are created in the image of God. When we kill, harm, or sin against someone else, we’re sinning against the created image of God. Adultery, like all sin creates a rift with God that damages our spiritual health and must be addressed through genuine repentance.
The devastation of adultery also marital devastation. Trust, once broken, is incredibly difficult to restore. As Pastor John Miller says, “trust is like a fragile vase—once shattered, it can never be fully restored to its original state.” While forgiveness and healing are certainly possible, the scars often remain. Proverbs 6:32-33 warns that "He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away." Jesus acknowledges the gravity of this betrayal in Matthew 19:9, allowing for divorce in cases of adultery due to the deep breach of trust it represents. Though reconciliation can happen, the road is often long, and the effects on the marriage are often profound, leaving a permanent mark.
Adultery’s impact reaches beyond the couple, leaving familial devastation. Children are especially vulnerable to the consequences of parental infidelity, as their sense of stability, trust, and security can be deeply shaken. The story of David and Bathsheba illustrates how the effects of sexual sin can ripple through generations. David’s sin led to the death of the child he had with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:14-18), but the fallout didn’t stop there. His household was marked by tragedy—his son Amnon committed sexual violence against his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-19), and another son, Absalom, avenged Tamar by killing Amnon (2 Samuel 13:28-29). This set the stage for rebellion and further bloodshed as Absalom sought to overthrow David (2 Samuel 15).
This cascading effect of sin shows how one act of adultery can set off a chain reaction of dysfunction within a family. Exodus 34:7 underscores this idea by noting that the consequences of sin can be visited upon future generations. While this doesn't mean children are punished for their parents' sins, it highlights how the relational and emotional fallout of adultery can echo through a family, creating patterns of brokenness.
Children who witness infidelity may struggle with trust, not only in their own relationships but also in their perception of commitment and integrity. They may develop fears about the stability of relationships, or carry emotional wounds that shape their future interactions, leading to cycles of mistrust, betrayal, or even repeating the same patterns of unfaithfulness in their own lives. These cycles can perpetuate pain long after the initial act of adultery, affecting the family for years to come.
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After David’s adultery and subsequent cover-up involving the murder of Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, the prophet Nathan confronted David. In 2 Samuel 12:10-12, Nathan delivered a message from God outlining the long-term consequences of David’s actions:
Sword will never depart from David's house (2 Samuel 12:10):
Nathan tells David, “Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.” This judgment predicts ongoing violence and conflict within David’s family, which we later see fulfilled through Amnon’s rape of Tamar, Absalom’s murder of Amnon, and Absalom’s rebellion.Evil will arise from within David’s own household (2 Samuel 12:11):
“Thus says the LORD, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house.’” This prophecy directly foreshadows the internal strife David will face within his family, particularly Absalom’s rebellion and attempt to usurp the throne.Public humiliation (2 Samuel 12:11-12):
Nathan also declares that someone close to David will take his wives and sleep with them publicly: “I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.” This humiliation is fulfilled when Absalom takes David’s concubines during his rebellion, as recorded in 2 Samuel 16:22.
While David sincerely repented (as seen in Psalm 51), the temporal consequences of his sin unfolded tragically in his family, as Nathan had prophesied:
Amnon’s Rape of Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-19):
This horrific act of violence within David’s family is the first major incident of familial turmoil following his sin. Amnon’s act and David’s failure to discipline him led to further dysfunction.Absalom’s Murder of Amnon (2 Samuel 13:28-29):
Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, takes revenge by killing Amnon. This introduces even more bloodshed and division in the family.Absalom’s Rebellion (2 Samuel 15-18):
Absalom, embittered by his father’s inaction and perhaps emboldened by the curse on David’s household, eventually rebels against David, leading to a civil war that causes great suffering for David and the nation of Israel.Absalom’s Public Defilement of David’s Concubines (2 Samuel 16:22):
Fulfilling Nathan’s prophecy, Absalom humiliates David by sleeping with his concubines in a public display of rebellion, further cementing the breakdown within David’s household.
These events serve as a direct fulfillment of God’s declaration that the consequences of David’s sin would not just affect him personally but would ripple through his family, causing strife, violence, and tragedy. Thus, the Bible shows a clear causal link between David’s adultery with Bathsheba and the subsequent turmoil in his household.
On a broader scale, communal devastation also can occur when marriages break down. In ancient Israel, the family was the foundational unit of society, and Deuteronomy 4:6-8 emphasizes that Israel’s laws, including those surrounding marriage, were meant to reflect God's wisdom to surrounding nations. When marriages crumble due to adultery, the community’s witness to God's faithfulness is weakened. In today’s church, adultery among believers similarly damages the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 5 calls the church to take sexual sin seriously, warning that unchecked immorality compromises the church's holiness and its witness to the world. When the covenant of marriage is violated, it undermines the credibility of the community that is meant to reflect God's character.
That’s why it is so important to take practical steps to safeguard marriages. Understanding the potential for damage should motivate couples to be proactive in protecting their relationships. Open communication is key, as is mutual accountability and consistent prayer. Marriages thrive when there is transparency and shared spiritual practices that draw couples closer together. Furthermore, the church must play an active role in supporting marriages by providing resources, counseling, and community. When couples are given the tools to work through challenges, they are less likely to face the devastating effects of infidelity.
The Path to Restoration
What about those who have already violated this commandment? What about those carrying the weight of past infidelity? This is where we must remember that the God who commands faithfulness is also the God who offers restoration. Take the story in John 8 of the woman caught in adultery. The religious leaders wanted to stone her, but Jesus’s response shows us God’s heart toward the repentant:
“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”
Notice two things here.
First, Jesus offers forgiveness—“Neither do I condemn you.” Second, He calls for changed behavior—“Go, and from now on sin no more.” This is the pattern of true restoration. It involves both grace and truth, both mercy and transformation. Jesus doesn’t condone the sin, but He offers the opportunity for a new beginning.
Second, restoration doesn’t mean there are no consequences. As we saw in the life of David, even after receiving God’s forgiveness, he still faced the repercussions of his sin (2 Samuel 12). But forgiveness means that we can be reconciled to God, and through His grace, we can find healing and restoration.
David’s response to his own adultery gives us a model for genuine repentance. In Psalm 51, he cries out:
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.”
Acknowledgment of Sin: David doesn’t make excuses for his sin. He acknowledges the depth of his wrongdoing, saying in Psalm 51:3, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” Genuine repentance begins with taking full responsibility for our actions.
Appeal to God’s Mercy: David doesn’t appeal to his own righteousness or attempt to justify himself. He throws himself entirely on the mercy of God. This is a crucial step in restoration. 1 John 1:9 reminds us: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Desire for Cleansing: David doesn’t just seek forgiveness; he longs for cleansing. He prays in Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” True repentance isn’t merely about escaping consequences; it’s about transformation. David desires to be made new from the inside out, which is the goal of restoration.
Restoration of Joy and Intimacy with God: David concludes his prayer by asking God to restore the joy of his salvation (Psalm 51:12). Sin not only breaks relationships with others, but it also robs us of our intimacy with God. Restoration involves the recovery of that closeness and the joy that comes from walking in obedience.
For those who have committed adultery or been affected by it, this path to restoration is essential. It begins with honest confession before God and, if necessary, confession to those who have been wronged (James 5:16). From there, it involves seeking accountability, walking in humility, and allowing God to bring healing.
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Allowing God to bring healing is a pivotal part of this process, as only God can mend the deep wounds caused by adultery, whether emotional, spiritual, or relational. Healing begins when we let go of the desire to control the process and invite God to work in His timing and His way. Isaiah 61:1-3 reminds us that God’s mission is to "bind up the brokenhearted" and "give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes," which points to His restorative nature. In moments of brokenness, it’s easy to cling to shame, guilt, or despair, but God calls us to lay these burdens at His feet and trust Him to restore us fully. 1 Peter 5:7 invites us to cast all our anxieties on Him, “because He cares for you.”
God’s healing touches every part of our being, but it often takes time. Just as a physical wound needs time to heal, so do the emotional and spiritual wounds caused by adultery. Psalm 147:3 reminds us that "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." This means that healing is an active process where God is constantly working, even when we don’t see it immediately. It involves both inner healing—renewing the heart and mind—and relational healing—restoring broken trust and rebuilding damaged relationships. Through the Holy Spirit, God reshapes the heart, transforming bitterness into forgiveness, guilt into grace, and shame into renewed identity in Christ.
Restoration through God's healing also involves renewal of identity. Sin can leave people feeling damaged or unworthy, but God continually speaks of renewal and redemption throughout Scripture. 2 Corinthians 5:17 reminds us that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” This promise is essential for those seeking healing from the impact of adultery. As God forgives, He also reestablishes our identity in Him, allowing us to move forward free from the chains of past sin. We are not defined by our past but by the new life Christ offers. For those affected by adultery, the healing process can involve learning to forgive and release bitterness, which is only possible through God’s grace. Ephesians 4:32 urges us to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Forgiveness doesn’t always come easily, but it is a crucial part of allowing God to heal. As long as bitterness and resentment are harbored, complete healing remains out of reach. By asking God to help release these emotions, the path to peace and restoration becomes possible.
Finally, allowing God to bring healing also means submitting to His will in rebuilding trust and restoring relationships. For the person who has been betrayed, trusting again may seem impossible, and for the one who committed adultery, earning that trust may seem like an unreachable goal. But Philippians 1:6 encourages us with the truth that “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.” Healing takes time, patience, and the work of the Holy Spirit to rebuild what was broken. We must trust that God is faithful to complete what He started, and He can restore marriages and relationships in ways we cannot achieve on our own. In all of this, we must be open to God’s process of healing, which often looks different from our expectations. He may work through counseling, community, prayer, and other practical means to bring about the restoration needed. Healing requires not only divine intervention but also personal commitment to continue seeking Him, even when the process is long and difficult. When we surrender to His timing, His grace, and His love, we experience the fullness of restoration that only God can provide. Jeremiah 30:17 offers this hope: “I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,” declares the Lord.
To guard against violating the commandment against adultery, several practical steps can be taken to strengthen personal integrity and protect marriages.
First, guarding your heart is crucial. Proverbs 4:23 emphasizes,
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
This means being honest about our vulnerabilities and taking proactive steps to protect ourselves from temptation. As 1 Corinthians 10:12 warns, "
“Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.”
[BRIEF EXPLANATION NEEDED]
Acknowledging our potential for moral failure allows us to be vigilant in protecting our hearts and minds.
Second, it's important to establish clear boundaries, especially in the digital age where temptations are abundant. Job 31:1 serves as a model of commitment:
“I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?”
[BRIEF EXPLANATION NEEDED]
Practical measures might include installing accountability software on devices, avoiding being alone with someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your spouse, and maintaining transparency in all relationships, particularly with your spouse.
Third, maintaining spiritual disciplines such as regular prayer, Bible study, and church attendance is essential for protecting your soul. These disciplines are not merely religious routines; they are vital defenses against temptation. When David fell into adultery, it was during a time when he should have been leading his armies but instead found himself idle at home (2 Samuel 11:1). Staying spiritually active keeps us grounded and focused on God’s will.
Fourth, investing in your marriage is key to building a strong, healthy relationship that can withstand challenges. This requires intentional effort, including regular communication, quality time, physical intimacy, and spiritual connection through shared prayer and worship. Strong marriages don’t happen by accident; they require consistent, deliberate care.
Finally, we must be ready to run from temptation. Joseph’s example with Potiphar’s wife demonstrates that sometimes the best strategy is to simply flee from compromising situations. As 1 Corinthians 6:18 advises,
“Flee from sexual immorality.”
When faced with temptation, removing ourselves from the situation immediately can be the wisest course of action to protect our integrity and honor our commitments.
The Gospel's Answer to Adultery
At the heart of this commandment lies a profound truth about God's character. He is the faithful one who keeps His covenant promises even when His people are unfaithful. This faithfulness is not simply a legal duty but flows from His steadfast love and commitment to His people. Deuteronomy 7:9 reminds us,
“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations.”
God's unwavering faithfulness reaches its ultimate expression in Jesus Christ, who perfectly demonstrates what it means to keep a covenant.
In Christ, we see three vital traits that are already the fulfillment of this commandment:
Perfect faithfulness – Jesus never wavered in His commitment to God's will, even in the face of great suffering and temptation. Unlike humanity, prone to failure and unfaithfulness, Jesus remained steadfast, fulfilling the mission given to Him by the Father. Hebrews 4:15 states that He was "tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin." His flawless obedience provides a model of true faithfulness.
Sacrificial love – Jesus gave Himself completely for His bride, the church. Ephesians 5:25 declares, "Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This love wasn't just in words or gestures but in the ultimate act of laying down His life. It mirrors the commitment marriage represents—a love that sacrifices for the good of the beloved.
Restorative grace – Jesus offers forgiveness and new life to all who turn to Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17 assures us, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” Through His grace, we aren’t just forgiven for our unfaithfulness but also transformed into something new, empowered to live faithfully by His Spirit.
This truth is crucial because none of us has perfectly kept this commandment. When Jesus revealed in the Sermon on the Mount that even lustful thoughts violate the commandment against adultery, He exposed the deeper issue of the heart and the difficulty of keeping this commandment. So whether through actions or thoughts, we all fall short, underscoring our desperate need for the grace that only Christ provides. The gospel message tells us that on the cross, Jesus took upon Himself all our unfaithfulness. Every act of adultery, every lustful thought, and every betrayal of trust was laid on Him. Isaiah 53:5 reminds us,
“He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds, we are healed.”
Jesus bore the full penalty for our sins, enabling us to be forgiven and restored.
Through His death and resurrection, Jesus offers not only forgiveness but also transformation. His resurrection empowers us to live a new life, free from the bondage of sin. Romans 6:4 states,
“Just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”
This means that we are no longer defined by our past failures. We can walk in newness of life, strengthened by His Spirit to live in faithfulness to God and those around us. This is the transformative power of the gospel—not just to forgive but to renew and restore us completely.
Application and Call to Action
So how do we respond to this commandment today?
For Those Who Are Married:
Renew your commitment to complete faithfulness to your spouse
Take practical steps to protect your marriage
Invest in building intimacy with your spouse
Deal with any "small compromises" that could lead to bigger failures
For Those Who Are Single:
Commit to honoring God's design for sexuality
Guard your heart and mind from impurity
Respect others' marriages
Use this season to develop faithfulness in all relationships
For Those Who Have Failed:
Remember that God's grace is greater than your sin
Seek forgiveness from God and, where appropriate, from those you've hurt
Accept God's forgiveness and walk in new life
Get help and accountability to prevent future failures
For Everyone:
Remember that you represent Christ
Guard your heart against all forms of unfaithfulness
Cultivate gratitude for God's faithful love
Point others to Christ through your faithfulness
Remember that this commandment, like all of God's commands, is really for our good and His glory. It protects something so precious—the covenant of marriage, which beautifully reflects Christ's love for His church. But as we dig deeper into this commandment and the others, we quickly realize that none of us can keep these laws perfectly. And that’s exactly the point. The Ten Commandments are meant to point us to Christ, showing us our need for Him. The more we understand them, the more grateful we become for the gift of salvation through Jesus, who kept the law perfectly on our behalf. It's through His grace that we're forgiven and empowered to live in a way that honors God—not by our own strength, but through His transforming work in us.